“I would love to hang out, but I can’t. I’m getting my carpet cleaned.”
20s: Every concert, every festival, every road trip is worth spending every dollar you have… even if that means you MAY end up being a month behind on rent.
30s: $150 To see Beyonce in the nosebleed section?
I got you Bey.
And I can listen to that ish while eating cold pizza on my kitchen floor.
It doesn’t get more legit than that.
20s: I need bass. I need ALL the bass.
30s: Why does every song have to have so much bass??!! I can’t understand a word they’re saying! How can I sing along if I can’t understand a word they are saying?!
*While grocery shopping*
Hot Cheetos. Check.
Hot Pockets. Check.
Bud Light. Check.
Coke. Well… I really should try to be healthier. Diet Coke. Check.
Those yummy FiberOne brownie bars. Check.
Pork roast for the crockpot recipe I saw on Pinterest. Check.
Proudly admire the contents of your shopping cart, and how they confirm that you are in fact an adult. Check.
20s: You’re hot. I’m hot. Let’s be hot together. DONE AND DONE.
30s: You’re hot. I’m hot. When was the last time you got tested? Also, I won’t be able to spend the night because I plan to get my car in for an oil change in the morning…. And the earlier I get it in the better, because after 10am it’s madhouse over there, ya know?
20s: Ugh, I feel awful. I drank too much. Last night was so fun though! I can’t believe I [insert crazy drunk story here]. SUCH a crazy night! I love how fun and exciting I am!! Let me just nurse my hangover all day and not worry about if I have any obligations I won’t be able to fulfill because I’m too sick to function!!
30s: I’m dying. I’m dying a slow horrible death. Kill me. Kill me know. I’m never drinking again. And why did Katie schedule her baby shower for 10am on a Saturday?? Damn you Katie. Damn you.