Like so many others in this world, I am currently playing an active role in the dating world. I know I know, that was a roundabout way of saying “I’m single looking to mingle!” I guess I’m just trying to class-up a sometimes messy topic!
Dating is hard. REAL HARD. Can I get an “AMEN”?! Between the endless selection of dating apps, chat rooms, websites, and groups, it sure makes it hard for people to expect a commitment when there are so many other options just a click or swipe away. It can be overwhelming having so many options, and it can be just as overwhelming BEING one of the many options. You want to know what has been my downfall in dating? The thing that tripped me up for a long time? What sent my head and heart spinning after every dead end date? It was the fact that though they may have chosen to go out with me, that doesn’t mean they chose ME. So here I would be, so excited about a guy who I met on a dating app and asked me to dinner. I would think “Out of all the women on ____ he chose me!” Then we’d meet, have a great time by all dating standards, but then the only thing that would progress after the date is the slow burn of contact between the two of us. In my mind it was simple: He chose me when he showed up, so now he’s rejecting me by disappearing. Oh how my heart saw love in black and white! I had some growing to do.
An ex-boyfriend of mine used to say to me “Sometimes love just isn’t enough” and hearing that would break my heart! I couldn’t fathom a world in which love wasn’t enough to beat all odds. Here’s the thing though, love… or “like” will never be strong enough to override personal choice… and thank God for that! It’s our ability to chose our own paths and who we want to be, and who we want to be WITH that make each person on this earth their own little mosaic! Personal choice is what adds value to the act of truly choosing YOU. It’s their right to choose, even if their choice leads them away from you. You would want that freedom for yourself, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t want someone else’s sense of entitlement to your heart overriding your right to chose, would you? They either choose you or they give you the opportunity to find a better suited choice. So respect the choice.
Here’s a little homework: Listen to “Doing It Wrong” by Drake. Regardless of if you like hip-hop or not, the lyrics of this song blew my mind. Call me crazy, but I think he’s on to something.