Mind over MADDER

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Today’s too-cool-for-school thinking says that we should always be an open book. That we should never hide what we’re thinking or how we’re feeling. That honesty is always the best policy, and that hurting someone with the truth is always better than hurting them with a lie. In the spirit of honesty, let’s be honest… That’s not 100% true, now is it? We should NOT be an open book all the time, especially when there are emotional robbers waiting to do a breaking and entering act on our heart. Honesty is always the best policy in theory, but some people are hurt by you saying anything about them that was unsolicited. Sometimes you just can’t win!

I like to pride myself on being a mindful communicator. I aim to be precise in what I want to say, and on understanding that the key to being a great communicator is to be a great listener. Most of the time this has worked out well for me, however there are rough patches I encounter from time to time. These communication mishaps occur and leave me feeling dazed as to what happened. It totally throws me off my game! People end up totally misunderstanding me, even though at the time they confirmed that we were on the same page. People misinterpret my intent even when I clearly tell them my objective. There are even times when I walk away thinking that I had a super productive conversation with someone, to later on have them accuse me of a bunch of nonsense that leaves me feeling bewildered! *BIG EXHALE* It’s so hard to tell yourself “These things happen” WHILE THEY ARE HAPPENING!

The reality of life is that these things DO happen. In fact, I believe that they even happen with a purpose! You will end up blinding yourself to that purpose if you stay stuck in frustration, or feeling mad about misunderstandings. Move out of madness into mindfulness and try to look at the situation with compassion… mind over MADDER! View yourself and your emotions with curiosity! View the other party with curiosity!  Curiosity turns the mundane into art… and art is unique from piece to piece… just like people. You do that, and that maddening situation may turn into a learning experience… leading you to a bliss that keeps on giving.

Yours truly,
Andrea


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